The death of Pastor Sy Rogers formerly of Church of Our Saviour in Singapore marks the end of the ex-gay ministries. Pastor Kong Hee of City Harvest in remembering Sy said that he provided clarity and helped for those who struggled with issues pertaining to human sexuality. At the end, many friends who were under his ex-gay ministry or heard his teachings at various charismatic churches became very suicidal, and departed from the faith, or even died due to self abuse/suicide.

The ex-gay ministry destroyed the faith and personality/soul of many. The churches associated with Sy Rogers and provided him an ex-gay platform are equally responsible. May God have mercy on them.

Listening to him speak in the 90s at City Harvest Church, Sy was obviously not a gay man whom he claimed that he was once but a transgender. His theology had totally confused the difference between being gay and transgender. No gay man would even consider sex change which Sy had once considered. He framed his own rejection of his sexual orientation using the Christian faith which in turned destroyed both the faith and soul of many. It was all a big con and conflicting, confusing between what is straight, gay, and transgender. My transgender friend who was under her ministry once commented that her gay friends are all like her, queens whom I replied that she is totally confused and conflicted.

I left City Harvest Church once I realized that they were coming against gays by confusing transgender and gays, and Pastor Sy Rogers was the greatest example of this confusion of a Transgender person claiming to be ex-gay. Her mannerism were totally that of a transgender person. He did not add clarity nor compassion as claimed by Pastor Kong Hee but confusion and cruelty. It destroyed many lives.

I have seen into the eyes of those whom Sy had ministered to – they were empty because their soul and spirit was torn apart using the reasoning of christian faith. This is an abuse of the Gospel message. For me, Pastor Sy Rogers had committed the greatest of all sins, hurting the little children of the Christian faith. Why? because once the damage was done in their soul and spirit due to ex-gay teachings when they were young, they were like walking dead.

Pastor Sy Rogers teachings were spread far and wide to other churches as part of the Singapore Festival of Praise churches and the National Council of Churches including Church of Our Saviour, City harvest Church, and FCBC. It impacted the soul and spirit of many of my then young Christian friends. Their soul and spirit closed up. Many suffered substance abuse and committed suicide due to the ex-gay spiritual abuse by the church. It was difficult to go behind the firewall of their soul to see a wounded child, deeply wounded spiritually by the church. Their inner being and identity as an innate gay person was destroyed by the church. They too died within long before any substance abuse and suicide attempts.

Many of course had survived the ex-gay ministry but are spiritually dead even though they would deny it. They used to be the most fervent charismatic evangelical Christians, people of faith. If their faith had flourished, they would have continued on being great pastors and evangelist. Now many would not admit it but they have departed from the Christian Faith with Jesus as God, Lord and Saviour. The ex-gay ministries had cut off the roots to the heart of Jesus for these dear ones. There they died, their soul and spirit died, fearful that God Himself had rejected them of their innate sexuality.

How did I survived? By God’s love, grace and mercy. My weakness became my strength. I was the most quietest person and deeply reflective and spend time during school holidays very much in prayer in tongues and reading the bible from Alpha to Omega. The truth is that I am the weakest among all my Christian friends that I grew up with with many inner conflicts and turmoils. Therefore, I spent my time at the feet of Jesus in the hiding place (psa91).

I realized quite early when I was young that I was gay because I was attracted to guys even in Primary School. But I had kept it to myself because during that time I had accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior and the Anglican and Evangelical Charismatic churches were highly anti-gay. Soon, after university I tried having a girl friend but the relationship did not continue.

When I was praying in the Spirit after the broken relationship, I heard the Holy Spirit saying that He knows I am a Gay person. I had to admit to the Holy Spirit that I am Gay. I heard Him smiled and the Holy Spirit whispered that He had known all the time. The problem was not God but I had to accept and love myself first.

When I saw Pastor Sy Rogers and him claiming he was gay, I realized he was a fake for no gay man would want to become a woman nor act like a woman in his mannerisms. Sy was a transgender and not gay. When Pastor Kong Hee in a men’s meeting after the Sy Roger’s session asked for the men who were gay to leave the church if they continue to sin as a gay person, I left City Harvest Church.

The death of Pastor Sy Rogers marks the end of the ex-gay movement, but the pain and suffering left behind, and the total destruction of faith for the once little ones. Lives were destroyed and destiny changed.

The amazing thing about the Cross of Calvary where Jesus Christ paid for our sins is that all our sins are forgiven individually if we are indeed in Christ when Jesus resurrected from the dead. In heaven, Jesus would welcome Sy Rogers with open arms because all his grave sins and harm done is forgiven because Jesus bore it at the Cross of Calvary. Although I talk about the grave sins of Pastor Sy Rogers, He is totally forgiven by God. That is Amazing Grace.

I know many friends who have died directly or indirectly or lives destroyed because of the harm caused by the anti-gay church. Their blood cries out for justice. With the end of the ex-gay ministry which has lasted over 70 years, the door is opening soon, and their voices would rise up and knock at the doors of the church. One may wonder why there is no power, no healing, and no massive revival? because the skeletons are blocking the entrance of the church. The world will not know the Gospel by our hate and our sins but our love, grace and mercy.