For many gays, I guess the end of life is when we discovered that we are gay usually at an early age. We try to cover it up as a passing phase, but when it soon dawn upon us this permanent reality, life itself ended with all our dreams lost. We live as best we could.
We do not need to wait for an eulogy and what people would say and write at the end. They may say good things respectfully but the hidden thoughts are that He/She is gay.
I am saddened as I think of a gay friend of mine at City Harvest. He was also a good friend of Kong Hee over 25 years and a member of the worship team. He remained single all this while. While he is not dead, his life is actually gone, no moments to experience the love of another man.
Our eulogy is already well written before us when we were born gay. The end is not some utopia of justice and judgement for those who have caused harm. The end is loss, a grave loss. There is often such a deep sadness in the worship with gay chrstians.
Why some christians can’t get more than 100 to grace their gay churches is simple. They talk about the good we do, to define our ending, but to some progressives there is no life thereafter in heaven but a rotting body to dust. If there is no hope of eternity, there is no more hope when our lives on earth are so bad.
For many gays, they are just surviving. When we are trying to survive, we are mostly self focused. We can’t see God by loving more. It is all by His grace through Jesus Christ.
When life is so terrible on earth as in 1st century Israel, Jesus offered an eternal life not by what they did or did not do, but by repentance of their sins, and being baptised into His death and resurrection.
Jesus didn’t come to judge, and make takes right by destroying the Romans and the religious pharisees. He came provide the door out that we need not die, and that our lives did not end. We live on with Christ in heaven, and our sufferings no more remembered in heaven.
The poor and outcasts were blessed because their poverty and lack has led them to Jesus in the desert. In the desert where life is so dry and harsh, Jesus was the water of life. He gave us life both here and in heaven to come.
We may have lost all, our eulogy whether written or unwritten saying “Here lies a Gay man”, but to Jesus the eulogy would write, “Here lies my beloved child. He is with me now. He is not dead but risen”.
The straight people of faith will have their good eulogy written for them and some would have very well attended funerals as ex-bishops and pastors of large denominations.
For many gays, our life and world is over even though we may be living. We are in mourning and despair of lives and moments lost. We seek justice and judgement but knows that it is too late and it doesn’t matter anymore. The young ones in their teens would live a different world, but our lives are long over.
We know that nothing we do matters anymore. We are condemned and judged, but even when we are free, we have lost all the time in jail and live in unseen jails.
We come to Jesus. And He says, come, lift up your hands, the latter rain of God’s grace will come. Receive His grace and be blessed. For your life has not ended, but has just begun. And there will be no end, for one day we will be with Him in heaven.
Jesus, we enthrone You
We proclaim You are King.
Standing here, in the midst of us
We raise you up with our praise
As as we worship build Your throne, and
And as we worship build Your throne
And as we worship build Your throne, Come Lord Jesus and take Your place.